From my childhood to young adulthood, I lived in survival mode. My childhood was marked by abuse, and depression became my constant companion. In my teens and early twenties, anxiety joined the mix, adding a heavy layer of fear and restlessness. But I pushed forward—I finished college, moved to a new city, and started a career in healthcare.

I thought I was finally leaving survival mode behind, but then, in my mid-twenties, I started experiencing debilitating migraines. These weren’t typical migraines—they were severe enough to make me believe I was having a stroke. The symptoms were so alarming that I spent six to eight months going through tests to rule out cardiac issues, tumors, and other serious conditions.

When the diagnosis came back as atypical migraines, I was relieved that it wasn’t life-threatening, but I was also deeply frustrated. The underlying cause? Stress. My inability to manage my emotional and psychological state was manifesting physically in the form of these migraines. That realization hit me hard—I was angry, overwhelmed, and determined to make a change.

A Rough Start with Therapy

In my teens and early twenties, I’d seen therapists, but the experience wasn’t helpful. They focused on prescribing antidepressants, which either didn’t work or came with unbearable side effects. I walked away from those experiences feeling disheartened as if therapy wasn’t for me.

I want to pause here to say this: therapy and mental health care have come a long way since then. What didn’t work for me two decades ago may work beautifully for someone else today. In fact, I now have a therapist who’s been instrumental in my growth. She helps me focus on my personal goals, including working through my procrastination tendencies—a pattern I still struggle with from time to time. Therapy today feels collaborative and empowering, a stark contrast to my earlier experiences.

The Road to Self-Discovery

After my diagnosis, I realized I needed to explore ways to heal and manage my mental health on my own. One of my previous therapists had given me a book about reframing perspectives, and it became a lifeline. That book sparked a hunger in me to learn, to grow, and to take control of my emotional well-being.

I started diving into self-help books, experimenting with affirmations, meditation, and techniques like the law of attraction. At first, it felt like trial and error—some strategies resonated, others didn’t. But over time, I began to notice significant changes.

The migraines? They didn’t disappear overnight, but after about a year of consistent work, they stopped completely. That was over 20 years ago, and I haven’t had one since.

The Power of a Growth Mentality

Looking back, I realize the most significant change wasn’t physical—it was mental. I had unknowingly developed a growth mentality, the belief that every challenge is an opportunity to learn and evolve.

This mindset didn’t mean life suddenly became easy. I still faced (and still face) challenges, but I began to approach them differently. I stopped seeing setbacks as failures and started seeing them as lessons.

Why Therapy and Self-Discovery Go Hand in Hand

I’ve learned that healing isn’t one-size-fits-all. My journey required a mix of self-exploration and professional guidance. Therapy, as it exists for me today, is a critical part of my growth. My therapist helps me work through patterns like procrastination and supports me as I work toward my goals.

At the same time, the techniques I discovered on my own—like meditation, affirmations, and reframing perspectives—remain valuable tools in my daily life. Together, they form a holistic approach to mental health that works for me.

Final Thoughts

If there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s this: growth and healing are deeply personal. What works for one person might not work for another, and that’s okay. The key is to keep searching, keep learning, and keep trying.

I still face challenges, and I probably always will. But today, I approach them differently. With each obstacle, I ask myself: What can I learn from this? How can I grow?

If you’re on your own journey, my advice is simple: Start where you are. Be patient with yourself. And don’t be afraid to ask for help—whether it’s from a therapist, a book, or a friend.

Growth takes time, but when you find what works for you, the possibilities are endless. 💛